I Don’t Know What I’m Doing

I’m thinking about how I operate, and honestly I probably wouldn’t ask myself for advice. There are a lot of things that I’m not really certain or consistent about. I wait until the last minute to fill up my gas tank, I have this cute habit of letting my laundry pile up, and I definitely don’t drink enough water throughout the day.

I don’t remember anything about trigonometry or algebra. Forget about biology or APA format. I have so many trails of thought it’s more like a brambling forest of things I want to Google later on. I sometimes mix my left and my right up, sometimes at really inopportune times.

I literally spell Wednesday as Wed-Nes-Day in my head. Sometimes out loud. I still count on my fingers. I have to fall asleep with the TV on because the lack of noise is a little startling to me. Sometimes I’m still afraid of the dark; you can still catch me running up the stairs after turning the lights off if I’m the last one awake.

To be quite honest I didn’t do enough research about Raleigh before moving here. It was like blindly putting a pin in the middle of a map of North Carolina and saying “alright, that’s the next move”. It took until moving here to realize that I do in fact miss my home state. But I will admit, the barbecue sauce down here is impeccable.

I paint my nails and within a week I start picking it off. I can be either pretty impulsive or completely paralyzed with indecision. I’m still learning how to swim, or rather, to float. I think Nickelback is a fantastic band, and I won’t let myself say that out loud. I’m really gullible. I like the idea of horror movies, and then end up spending half the movie hiding my eyes behind my hands. Sometimes I eat ice cream for breakfast. I believe in horoscopes.

Anyway, I would take my advice with a pretty good sized grain of salt.